I have a client named Julie (not her real name). She’s in her mid-50s and holds a senior creative position at a large fashion company. Julie is known for her strategic and creative gifts, along with an inspiring leadership approach that has allowed her to build – and keep – a great team.

Julie excels in most parts of her role, but she has a problem.

Julie’s challenge is that she often “loses herself” when dealing with her boss, who has far less emotional sensitivity and far more reactive volatility than Julie. Her boss has a way of shutting Julie down and turning her into a “pleaser,” and she often loses her confidence and willingness to stand up for her ideas when in his presence.

To break this pattern, we came up with a simple exercise: Julie would reflect on the attributes she considers to be the essence of who she is: Qualities that have defined her throughout her life and that helped her become the person she is today. Julie’s short-list of core attributes includes: Creator, Connector, Energizer, Rebel, Collaborator, Force-of-Nature and Shining Light.

These qualities are, no surprise, the ones that Julie loves the most about herself. When Julie is connected to this view of herself, she feels invincible.

So now, just before Julie walks into a room, she connects with these qualities. At first, this self-conscious approach to connecting to herself felt clunky. But with practice, feeling herself as the embodiment of these qualities has become rote. It takes only a moment of reflection.

When Julie thinks to herself: “I am going to bring my creator, energizer, force-of-nature and shining light into this room,” there is no stopping her. Her boss may do things that in the past could dent her confidence and sense of agency, but they are no longer a match for the immediacy of her connection to this positive view of her essence.

Try it. Think about your most important and desired attributes, write them down, and check in with them whenever you enter a room. You’ll be amazed when you become who you know you already are!

NB: I recently read a piece in the Harvard Business Review called "How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think of You." It proposes a related approach of creating a "Personal Philosophy" to help you stay connected to your best self. Check it out here.